Game Theory
Entry 1: Welcome!
Hello, and welcome to my very first Substack post of which I hope to be releasing once a week. I don’t have any high stakes goals here outside of engaging myself more creatively, fleshing out thoughts I usually leave scattered across various journals, and documenting a historical record of my personal growth as a thinker and a writer. If all goes as planned, ideally I can also recruit some fellow discourse warriors who enjoy exchanging ideas; and we can all learn from each other!
Recently I have been consuming a lot of writing, videos, podcasts, etc, and in turn becoming more particular about what I give my attention to. With this, I have urgently realised that I don’t just want to be a consumer of ideas, but someone who has a creative output equal to, if not greater than, my level of consumption. I would not say that I often find myself missing school, but I do miss the way it gave me the structure to learn new things and challenge myself intellectually. While I dreaded the deadlines and writing essay after essay (sociology heads stand up), I did ultimately enjoy the end product. You could say that I am chasing the particular feeling of satisfaction you get when you finish an essay or research project and you close all your tabs on the google chrome browser. This is not to say that you should expect highly researched topics here, more like an *organised* stream of consciousness on subjects that are occupying my mind on any given week.
I have always been someone who is low-key obsessed with the concept of becoming the best version of myself. I love the process of building habits and routines, and I find purpose in overcoming challenges; this is a large part of why I love basketball. This mindset applies not just with things that will give me an upper hand on the court, but habits that will keep me evolving into a more well rounded person. Maybe it’s the athlete brain worms, or my virgo rising, likely a combination of both, but regardless, this is not an obsession I feel cursed with (most of the time). Rather, this fixation on bettering myself is actually something I find quite exhilarating. So, I figured I can start writing about it. As a basketball player first and foremost, I expect most of my posts will definitely have athlete-pilled undertones. But, I do plan to expound my takes on a wide range of topics from personal growth, to politics and culture, to how much I hate Al. I am intentionally not giving myself too many rules here, in an effort to let this be a creative endeavour that unfolds naturally.
Okay, with all that said, this my attempt to hold myself accountable to being creative and escaping the looming fear of being a boring athlete with no hobbies outside of my sport. Here’s to pursuing interesting things outside of basketball, and maybe after some consistent posting I can even call myself a writer! Hope you guys come along :)
Shoutouts -
Some people who have knowingly and unknowingly inspired me to start this journey include:
My grandmother, who was the first person to teach me to write, was constantly nagging me about my grammar in a manner which I felt was unnecessary and annoying at the time. I miss my grandma, and I miss sharing my writing with her. May these essays serve as a way to honor her efforts all those years ago!
My wonderful friend Vivian who so kindly asked me to be featured on her own sub stack last week, which you all should read (looongtimelistener.substack.com) Viv is one of my funniest friends and she inspires me with her courage to be fully herself in every space.